Draft status

Note haha, this is highly in draft mode, but I like to publish my early drafts because iterating is my preferred psychological happy place. But yea this is definitely not organized writing yet.

Book in three sentences

  • We escape what we intend to do when it makes us uncomfortable, but we can learn to notice the impulse to escape and stay with ( lean in ) the discomfort a little bit at a time
  • You control your input and not your output, so align the input with your values and forgive yourself (be kind )for crappy outcomes. (corollary throw away the to do list and keep the calendar )
  • Make time for strategic thinking, (aka 50,000 foot thinking ), to “reflect and refine”, are you really really really doing what you intend? Really though? Are your actions congruent with your intentions? Or are you letting some other random human plan your day or worse yet, is it just pure chaos? Think critically once a week say.
  • The environment has always had distractions, and it may seem like it’s always getting harder to resist. (Do Young minds have it worse today? What does author believe? )
  • The chapter 7 on going deep too makes it interesting, really vibes with me

Impact

(TODO: rearrange this section, since lot of impact is still scattered below)

  • Also chapter 8, how finite willpower is a made up thing , super interesting , have not heard it before.
  • Forest app

Thoughts, questions

[[you are not your khakis]]

Thinking haha just like [[Fight club]] [[You are not your thoughts]]

When it comes to values,

I still think the [[closed-door-open-door]] is relevant also [[teamwork is dream work]] , [[motivated-by-helping]] , [[Creativity]] , [[spark-joy]] , these are at conflict with [[traction]] , and maybe [[explore-exploit-balance]] can help

[[Apr 1st, 2023]] , recently I’ve been thinking about the [[gamification vs going deep]] angle.

  • In particular, I think [[stress]] from [[performing under stress and duress]] and from [[Andrew Huberman]] episode on [[The Power of Play]], so to me this is not just that you can have [[fun-factor]] by [[deep-work]] , also probably the opposite [[shallow-vs-going-deep]] [[shallow work]] and maybe any kinds of [[shallow]] anything is even painful to some degree because it is a [[wasting-time]] and not in the [[low stakes]] kind with [[play]]. collapsed:: true

    • I relate how [[Andrew Huberman]] was saying that [[play]] is [[Homeostatic regulation]], per here , this is what [[The Sims]] exhibit with their six core needs bars, and other than “social”, “bladder”, “hunger”, “sleep” , “cleanliness”, the sixth the had was “fun”.
      • Indeed I wonder although [[Andrew Huberman]] doesn’t discuss it directly, I wonder if just like [[adenosine-sleep-pressure]] is a thing, (and [[hunger]] [[signaling]] like [[leptin]] is associated with [[energy homeostasis]] ) is there some similar chemical signaling with [[play]] and [[having fun]]?

  • So my main thought is are we doing work all wrong ? I was recently part of a [[hackathon]] at my company where in that [[low stakes]] environment, yes my colleagues and I produced some really cool work, and we were [[having fun]] and of course [[teamwork is dream work]], but later on company wide we were all celebrating the amazing results all the teams produced, but ultimately as a organization, no one really knows how to harness fun and play so that conversation is going nowhere. My overall industry is currently in its “lets explore agile” [[agile]] phase , which is the exact opposite of fun.

    Some talk about real agile vs [[fake-agile]] or how agile causes [[MVP syndrome]] but no matter how you slice it, haha pun intended 😀 I think agile is a [[fun killer]], a [[downer]], because ultimately it tries to [[bottle excitement]] and [[defer]] it.

    • That is like a [[opiate of the masses]] maybe like in the [[movie-type]] [[Network 1976 movie]]

  • [[Stephen Wolfram]] and his take on [[energy-draining-vs-energy-adding-activity]]. And the whole [[996]], and [[Meritocray Trap book]]

  • [[explore-exploit-balance]] is the topic that comes to my mind whenever I feel perhaps I’m going down a [[rabbit hole]] or that I risk not creating something [[live in production]] , [[deliver working software frequently]] [[continuous delivery]] [[iterative]] style

That [[strategic-thinking]], section, was from “chapter 9”, and [[implementation-intention]]

  • “Traction draws you toward what you want in life, while distraction pulls you away” (chapter 9)

    • So well put, however I realize often times what floods my mind can also be other things that I want that are simply unrelated to the thing that I want that I am doing at the present moment 😀. For this reason I really appreciate having [[log-seq]] in my personal life and [[org-mode]] and [[Org Roam]] on [[Doom Emacs]] at my work laptop. Because this lets me effortlessly write a quick note into my [[second-brain]] [[cultivating a digital knowledge garden]] , without really getting too off track with my task at hand.
  • If we internally feel we are [[ignoring something important]] that is nagging at us, that will prevent us from being [[being present]]
    • He was saying this requires [[CalendarTechnique]] [[calendar as your lash]] split your time across your life domains [[core values]] in a way that feels [[congruent]] with your [[intention]].
  • [[reflect]], [[reflect and refine]] specifically he was saying to book time on your calendar specifically to ask yourself,

    • how did the week go? Did I get distracted? Maybe I wrote in my [[distraction tracker]]?

    • “Approach the exercise of making a schedule as a curious scientist, rather than a drill sergeant, gives us the freedom to get better with each iteration” (page 58, chapter 9)

  • the [[emptying your mind]] like [[Naval Ravikant]] with [[inbox-zero-for-your-mind]]. Always feels great. And you can even burn it after if you want 😅, part of the point is to reduce stress.

the relationship between [[Clarity of purpose]] [[meaning of life]], [[meaningful-life]] [[finding my meaning]] [[my values]] .

  • think relates to [[Oliver Burkeman]] and his [[Four Thousand Weeks book]] because he had the notion that people use [[productivity]] to [[Work hard play hard]] [[I Do Coke song]] by [[Feed Me]] and trying to [[time management]] but that haha [[Time Management for Mortals]] , time will do what it wants,

My critiques

I think the Marshmellow Experiment gives the wrong direction

  • The author recommends Surfing the Urge for ten minutes say before giving in to some desire. I like that he’s discussing this and yea I agree it is good to practice impulse control. However, I think surfing the urge can just end up training yourself for “delayed gratification” as opposed to what you really want which is not to delay but to just allow the urge to pass all together.
  • And in the other section I think with Dr Brickman, he does talk about just placing the urges aka internal triggers, on leaves on a stream. And leaning in to them, actually focusing on them rather than ignoring them. I have been trying to incorporate this and I like it.
  • I agree “surfing the urge” is most likely not meant to be synonymous with “delayed gratification” though. The idea is to really intend to watch the urge subside, go away. But if you do not succeed, then don’t beat yourself up over it. This requires practice! I like the Joel Goldstein metaphore of this being like lifting weights at the gym and each time you challenge an internal trigger you are doing a rep !

I feel like there is a lot about [[collaborate with multiple people at work]],

that can be said, which is maybe not the direct subject of the book, but is really important . I think at this point the dilema is [[closed-door-open-door]] as described by [[richard hamming]] in his [[Richard Hamming turing award lecture]] or at least one of his lectures I recall learning about this from. We need to guard our time and we need the opportunity to think things through carefully, and we can also make room for [[collaboration-opportunity]]. I think one answer I like is [[person Cal Newport]] [[Time block planner]] and more or less be open to [[collaboration-opportunity]], checking the [[Slack]] in between [[focused]] blocks of time like [[Forest pomodoro app]]. And I want to keep practicing getting better at the [[NoEstimates]] approach, given a section of time, cut down the scope to [[if it fits it ships box]] [[ship working software]] basically.

Quotes

  • “If we chronically neglect our values, we become something we’re not proud of our lives feel out of balance and diminished. Ironically, this ugly feeling makes us more likely to seek distractions to escape our dissatisfaction with. out actually solving the problem.” (chapter 9)

  • if I know how you spend your time, then I know what might become of you. (Wolfgang von Goethe , chapter 9)

  • “Traction draws you toward what you want in life, while distraction pulls you away” (chapter 9)

  • “It’s a curious truth that when you gently pay attention to negative emotions, they tend to dissipate but positive ones expand.” (Oliver Burke-man wrote in the Guardian, chapter 6)

Actionable items

  • [[choose your own adventure]] as a way of life
  • Identify internal triggers, possibly using a Distraction Journal.
  • And planning, very much like Cal Newport’s Time Block Planning !
  • At least once daily and hopefully once weekly, do strategic thinking, the 50,000 foot view, reflecting and adjusting. The various breathing like [[Physiological sigh]] I think are highly related to this too , because you can get [[burnout]] stuck in the [[get-lost-in-the-weeds]], lost the [[big-picture]]. And especially [[stress eating]] if [[working long hours]]
  • I like the idea that in order to even have room for some strategic thinking though, you need to be in tune with the parts of your life that you care about. So you need to pay attention
  • In a very stoic way, lean in to your worst internal triggers and practice watching them disappear.